Carolyn Braden, Resting Finally!

I am at home today.  There is no school for the next four days and I decided to not make any plans.  Of course I have a few things to do, but as far as needing to be anywhere at a certain time and being rush, rush, rushed all the time..........................I  A M  O N  A  B R E A K.  :)

Do you ever feel like you want to go into a quiet dark room for a few moments to just get away from it all? I know I do.  Maybe I feel that way because I haven't been feeling great lately (sick kids at school and sick people everywhere!!!!!!!!!) but I really think it's because I've been in "Go Mode" since August 12th (first day back after summer break).   I have stuck to the exercise routine every morning to keep the "Go Mode" going.  I got bored with just the treadmill so I alternate weight training with the cardio.  We've got to keep the exercise going for our health, but also because we all tend to be like hibernating bears in the winter.  We eat and eat and eat in the winter to stay warm.  We tend to start it all now because the hibernation process is starting.  People have started vanishing from their porches at night and pretty soon they will start vanishing from walking around during the day. 

I like to stay busy so I can avoid the whole hibernation thing.  But, we all have to remember to rest at times so we can go go go some more.

Daily life is tending to be entirely too robotic for me right now.  I was talking about this with someone the other day.  I don't need drama, I just would like to change up my routine a little.  Maybe after this resting period I'll figure out how to change it up a little.  :)

---C

Carolyn Braden: Tim McGraw Southern Voice!

Well, the music video is now out.... Tim McGraw's Southern Voice. Go me! It was a great experience. I was just a "featured extra" and you can barely see me (you have to really know what you are looking for), but I still got paid and can tag it onto my resume!

Ah.......now what?

--C

See it here:

http://www.cmt.com/videos/tim-mcgraw/437639/southern-voice.jhtml?id=1622758

Carolyn Braden: Southern Voice

Okay.....the something good did happen.

I just was accepted into another talent agency. This one is in Nashville, TN. Within the first month of being in the agency, I booked a good job. I was a featured extra in Tim McGraw's about to debut music video for "Southern Living." This experience was really a good one. I met Tim and some of his friends. His friends were really guys that work on his farm, but he treated them like his buddies. They drove his vintage cars in from his farm to be in the video. His one friend, Bobby, was really a funny guy. He trains some of Tim's dogs and horses. I got to hang out with the dogs too. They all were just regular, nice people. Oh, but they live in the good ol' south. You know what? I thought I lived in the south here in Kentucky, but I'm not really in the south. When I've been in the "real south" (TN and lower) I have witnessed some true niceness. The people I've encountered have been friendly, kind, caring, and just all around good people. Now, I'm not saying that they are all nice or that everyone that lives everywhere else are mean. I am just saying I've had a good experience with TN, which happens to be in the south, lately. MMMM.........maybe TN would be a good place to live. I know to do what I want to do full time will result in a move at some point. I just don't know when and where yet.
Anyways, I hope my scene makes it to the video. I was the "ice tea girl" as everyone was calling me that by the end of the day. I was in charge of carrying a glass of iced sweet tea across the front of the band which started the extras walking into the scene. I didn't spill the tea one time, so I'd call it a successful day. My husband even got pulled into the crowd scene.
I am so ready for more.................

Carolyn Braden: That's Enough KANYE WEST!

Holy cow. I have been a supporter of Kanye West since he first broke out onto the music scene. Every time he screwed up by punching someone out or running off his mouth, I still supported him. When his mother died, I was sad for him. I just thought he was a fellow artist who just felt understood and frustrated. Being an artist myself, I know what it is like to be frustrated and want to sound off because I've felt understood. BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I never voice my opinion so strongly against a great artist. I am tonight. I had to get this out. I stopped watching the regular MTV channel and tuned into the other MTV channels to watch music videos from time to time. I go to MTV.com sometimes to view the newest music videos. After seeing an advertisement online today about Janet Jackson performing and Madonna introducing her, I decided to tune in to the regular MTV channel for a while tonight. What I saw tonight hurt my heart incredibly. I am not sure why I am reacting so strongly to what I saw, but I am.

Kanye West jumped up on stage and stole Taylor Swift's moment.

How dare you Kanye West steal someone's first moment!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a fan of all artist's in the world whether I agree with their agenda or not, but this is horrible. Do I know these people personally. No. But. That. Is. Enough. Kanye, take out your frustrations on your art, man. She is just a kid. She is a fellow artist. HOW DARE YOU. You've done this too many times. Your mother died. Yes, I am sure that hurt your world more than anything, but why continue to take out your anger on everyone else????????????????? I will pray for you. I pray that you truly get a wake up call. You have a talent. You are an artist. Why do you continue to hurt people with your celebrity? God gave you a talent and you are totally using it in the worst way. You are making yourself look worse and worse. Your talent is about to go down the drain and your supporters are fading away.

I just don't know what else to say. Oh....I know....go away Kanye. I am an artist trying to make it like you were. Clear out you belongings and go away. Make room for the artists in the world like me who want to make a difference in the world without hurting others. Shame on you.

New Day, New Life, Carolyn Braden

I finally finished my "Up and Down" journal. I love writing in a journal. As I've blogged about before, journal writing is so helpful in keeping up with your thoughts and goals. My up and down journal was killer. I've gone back and read through past journals and nothing compares to this last one. I was actually relieved when I finished writing in it. There was a whole lot of negativity in it. I am so glad I got out those negative thoughts through writing. Now, my next journal has a picture of a tree on it and I got it at a little bookshop in Sanibel Island this summer. It is beautiful. Trees have been a big part of my life lately. I like trees. I love how they can be beautiful and bear beautiful flowers in the spring, full and rich during the summer, colorful yet peaceful in the fall, and strong and tall in the winter. Anyways, this next journal is going to show the change in my life. From my 20's to my 30's. The tree is representational of the change because trees change.
Change is good. Why must we keep doing the same things all the time? Try something new. No, it's not New Year's resolution time yet, but who cares! Don't wait until then if you know you need to make a change in your life. It may be too late if you wait! Make a decision to change and stick with it. I have slacked on my exercise the last few months. I decided last week I was going to start getting up 15 minutes early every day to walk on the treadmill. You know what? It's like a shot of espresso! Who needs 10 cups of coffee when you can just exercise! Exercise increases your endurance and positivity. Try something new or stop a bad habit. Just because everyone else keeps making the same mistakes and gives up on pacts they make with themselves, you don't have to do it too. Baby steps people, baby steps.

Something really good may have happened today. I will not get too excited yet. I will blog again if I am right about this.

Until next time......

Mad Men Casting Call Contest: Carolyn Braden!

Trying to win yet another contest. Help me out! Click on the link below and it will take you to my voting page on the AMC's Mad Men website. Click on how many stars you rate my Mad Men Style photo (5 stars please, please, please!). Do it once a day per computer until August 11th and lets' see if I can win the walk on role on AMC's Mad Men and a $1,000 Banana Republic gift certificate.

Thanks lovely readers!

http://madmencastingcall.amctv.com/photos/view/1879

New Thoughts

Short entry tonight...it's a phone entry ;)
There is something about pennies right now. You know..."find a penny
and pick it up and all day you'll have good luck". I've been finding
many of them and people all of the sudden are wishing me good luck and
congratulating me on things. That doesn't happen usually so there's
something happening there.
There's something about Alabama too. Dreamt about it, random people
not even close to me talking about it, and had a visitor from there too.
How will these translate? Don't know where or how but something is
there.
Oh, there's something about December and New Years Eve.
Good night moon. You are full on Wednesday night....preparing for it. ;)
Sent from my iPhone

Read and Be Kind!!!

I have now read 3 Paulo Coelho books. I really, really love his writing. I read The Alchemist first. Then I moved onto Warrior of the Light, then to The Valkyries. The book Warrior of the Light is great because it's made up of a ton of passages. My husband read this book along with me. Here is a quote from Warrior of The Light that I seem to be living right now:

"The Warrior of the Light needs time to himself. And he uses that time for rest, contemplation, and contact with the Soul of the World. Even in the midst of a battle, he manages to meditate."

It seems to sum up what we all need to do sometimes. We should contemplate on what we are striving for in life. I really feel humans should take a "time out" and see if everything they are doing serves some sort of purpose. Are you being selfish and only thinking of yourself and your needs every day, or do you think of others? Some people's answer to that question is "Of course I think of others! I get my kids up everyday and feed them, and bathe them, and make sure they have what they need. So NO, I am not selfish." I am not talking about that. I am talking about this exactly: Do you TRULY pay attention to those around you?

Pay attention to others and their needs as well as your own. Hold a door for someone. (That's one of my biggest pet peeves!!! When you know someone is going in or out of the same door, hold it for them!!! Even if you are in a hurry!) Wave at someone when they have let your car into traffic when it was backed up for miles. Tell someone that they dropped that dollar instead of picking it up for yourself. (Think: that may have been the last dollar they had for the week. It's true!) Of course, we all make mistakes and forget about those little things sometimes and that's okay. But try to add in a kind act once a day, and then you'll notice yourself doing it all the time.

Another book I am reading is called Living Your Life on Purpose by Rick Warren. It's about trying to figure out your purpose in life. I try to live my life with purpose. I've felt that way for a long time. I am still trying to figure out exactly what my specific purpose in life is, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what it is. It has something to do with helping others. I don't want to just help others though, on a local basis. I want to make a difference in the world. I know I can't change the world! But, I'd like to add an ounce of happiness around the world with my creative ideas and talents. I was given true talents from HIM and I must use those gifts at a bigger level. Think about what your true talents are and how you can use them, even if you are busy and have a job that has nothing to do with your talents, to make a difference in the world.

A book I just finished is called The Shack by William P. Young. It was really good. Kind of sad, but good. It really makes you think. It has a religious thread that runs throughout the whole book. No matter what religion you are or even if you are not religious at all, this book still can get to you. I don't want to give away too much, but the beginning of the book read like Forensic Files (I like that show....mysterious) and it really captures your attention.

Yes, the books I've been reading this summer are kind of heavy. BUT, like the quote I wrote about above, I am taking time out to contemplate and contact the Soul of the World, and I know it is helping me continue on my journey to find my Personal Legend. :) Continuing on, when many think I shouldn't and think I may be crazy, is the only thing that I want to do.

Bought back my Pammie the Peacock rainbarrel today! I wanted her to come home so bad, and she did! She will look so pretty in my yard. Now she has to meet Humphrey GoKart. See some of my YouTube videos to figure out who he is.

Getting Real and Moving On

Just got back from vacation. I had alot to say, so check out my style blog to hear all about that.

When we got back from vacation we both realized it was time to GET REAL. Here's my first Get Real blog. We are tackling everything that we have been carrying on our shoulders for the past year. We are cleaning up and moving on. We may have to leave what we have been comfortable with our whole lives, but that is not scary to us anymore. The book I read on vacation, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, reached my heart in a way no book has ever done before. The author has ideas like me, and it was refreshing to know there is someone else out in the world that knows things as I do. Not everyone would understand the book in the same way I did, but I know that is true for many books. I must read more of his books. After reading the book, at first I was angry. I was angry because I have been waiting so long for my Personal Legend to come true. I was angry because Santiago (character in the book) struggled but then he got what the universe wanted him to get. I was angry because I wish the same for myself and the universe doesn't seem to be helping me out much. But.....then I thought about it and I figured out that I am still on my Personal Legend journey. This seems to be the longest journey EVER, but I guess that's the way it has to be. Thank you Carla for suggesting this book. I only hope that the universe is working with me.


More Get Real thoughts:
I did exactly what I wanted to do for my birthday and I was with the exact person I wanted to spend the day with. I went to Disney World with my husband. This was a milestone birthday, and I have had problems dealing with it. I know why, but the words I have to say about that will stay in my head....oh....and in my husband's ears. He understands how I feel and why, so we will keep it between ourselves.

I cancelled my Carnival B-Day party. I really just didn't feel like coming home from vacation and having to get so much done for the party. I plan parties for other people and they turn out great, but when it comes to my birthday, I think I am going to love planning it, organizing it, and doing everything for it, but I never really do. I have done well for myself in the past, but I ran out of steam for this birthday. I did what I wanted on my exact birthday, June 11th, and I really felt nothing could top that. I felt like planning this birthday, due to the milestone, was going to be like planning an "opposite" wedding day. In many weddings, someone else pays for it, other people make the decorations, put up the decorations, other people make the food, serve the food, other people make the cake, serve the cake, and other people clean up. I knew that in my birthday "wedding" scenario was going to be the opposite of that. I would be in charge of doing all that I listed, and it just didn't appeal to me. I've done it for other people and had no problems with that at all, but I just couldn't do it for myself this year. I don't feel like there's anything to celebrate. The day came and went. I did what I wanted to do and it's over. I thought birthdays were a big deal, but I guess they are losing their glamour to people.

Many things seem to be lost with the world now.
Everyone seems so concerned with their technological lives right now, that it is amazing to me. People are really addicted to their cell phones, text messaging, Facebook/Myspace/Twitter status and games, video games, photo sharing, etc. that it is truly sad to me. People have forgotten the things I think are so precious to the world. A true birthday wish is a phone call or a card. A thank you should come in the form of a verbal exchange through two people, or through a card. A true invitation to something big should come in the real mail, in paper form. Yes, I am guilty of caving in to using the tecnological things to the people that I can't reach any other way to say something briefly, but I am not guilty of using it to replace the once upon a time meaningful gestures of society. Am I just being old fashioned??? I do use technology on a day to day basis. I love technology, but I really feel people use it for things they shouldn't use it for. Think about this: Would you rather hear a true "I love you" from someone who is a part of your heart in an e-mail/text form, or through a phone or face to face exchange? I know at times this is not possible (ex./ husband's and loved ones in the army, navy, etc.). Even in that situation, I know that one would say they would rather hear a voice than see an e-mail.

I am thankful for the blog technology. But, even with this computer technology, nothing will ever replace my journals. I have kept journals since I could write. My Nani gave me my first journal, when I was first learning to write, and I have kept one going ever since. Some people in my past life found the journals and tried to keep me from writing in them, telling me that everything I wrote were just lies, but how can something you write in to get your feelings out be lies? No matter what anyone said, I continued to write. I hid them anywhere I could. I believe writing saved my life so many times. If I couldn't have gotten out some of my feelings, they would have gotten the best of me. I believe that is one of the reasons why I still write.
I still have every single journal I kept. I abandoned journaling for a few years. I abandoned writing when I first met my husband. I was so busy getting to know him, that I felt like writing was unimportant. I wish I would have written then. In the past year, I purchased another journal kept writing. I know that journaling will serve a function to something I will come across later in life. I wish that I could do this every day and it serve a purpose to someone other than myself.

The End.

--C

The Weight Has Been Lifted

I actually felt a little lighter walking into my house this afternoon. It literally felt like I was floating into my house a little bit.
As I said before, the next two months will be a "Go get em' tiger" kind of time, but I already have a head start. I am going to be sending out e-mails, applying for every kind of opportunity that I think fits me, I will send out letters, do whatever it takes. I have been doing this FOREVER, but Tommy said even if I don't hear anything, it doesn't hurt to try. Somebody is going to have to take a chance on me. I must prove that I can do anything. I thought some of my accomplishments thus far would have proven it by now, but apparently not. I have to really sell myself and put it all out there. Saturday, for some reason, I felt more confident that I have in a while. I think I may have been a little bit too confident that night, but oh well. I think I am getting the next wind I need. Monday was one of those days where you feel like everyone is looking at you but you don't know why. Ever had a day like that? I feel like I am going crazy when I have days like that, but I know it's not crazy. Maybe people are starting to catch on a little bit and I am turning the heads of those that didn't see me before. Tuesday, getting better. Then today....WHAM. I felt a little like the butterfly coming out of the cocoon. I did another audition today. I keep on truckin' but I am just not fitting the parts yet.

I wonder how Florida will respond to me. We shall see very soon. I love doing that....seeing how the different cities I visit respond to me. I love seeing how all the different types of people view me. I guess it's a mild form of research I do to see if I could reach all kinds of people.

I, hopefully will have more good things to report soon. I do know that I am happy about this month a little bit. Yes, my dreaded birthday is just around the corner, but the Carnival theme I came up with for the big night I think will be good. I will have a popcorn machine, a sno-cone machine, a huge inflatable princess chair for photo ops, a possible clown (he went to clown school so he has to be amazing), a limbo game, a balloon game, a bubble machine, and more. It should be fun for everyone. :) Everyone loves a Carnival.

The sun needs to shine upon me soon..........

It has stopped raining for a bit here in Louisville, KY. I put away my flower arrangement and Japanese umbrella last week, and put out flowers and crystals and amazingly, the rain stopped. The sun has been shining like crazy. We all need the sun right now. People come out of hiding and soak it all in. It seems to energize the human race. Yes, of course, we need sunscreen, but get a little bit of sun in every day. I have been getting it lately by driving in my new convertible. I really like this car. It's a little small compared to my Honda Element, but I'm getting used to it. It feels amazingly freeing to drive with nothing between my head and the sky. This Roadster is fast too. I have to be careful. This car is smart because it has came with a hard top to put on for the winter. But.....I will be a little sad to put that on. When it goes on, no more sun. :(

I really need this sun. I need the good warm weather to energize me and make me feel free and alive again. I will take these next two months in stride. I must find some answers over the next two months. The next two months must make it possible for me to enjoy the year's end. I have so many visions for he and I and our future. I have visions of us happy and surrounded by all the people and things we love. All my "BIG" cards have positive things upon them, but they don't tell me how to do the things I need to do. I have no clue where to go. Nothing is set in stone for the next two months. Well, vacation is. The East. What is there? How will it bring me the answers I need? I can't go back. I just can't. I never pictured it being my life long dream. It has me trapped right now and I must break free. It is exhausting. Truly, truly exhausting. I take deep breaths and look into the mirror daily.

Don't have a clue as to what I am talking about? It doesn't matter. I know what it all means. I know and He MUST know by now.

Pammie Peacock, you aren't the only one anymore.

Humphrey Go-Kart has been taking up some of my creative mind lately. He's a puppet I bought from Target. He has a brother too, Marlon Tango.
My mind has been spinning with ideas in the past 6 months. My mind seems to be working double time. All I want to do with these ideas is make people laugh and smile. I want to do it on a national level. I am testing out my ides, I call it, on the people in Louisville. Louisville really isn't responding to me. Kids and my family and friends are responding in a positive way, but strangers are confused by me I think. I think I may make people nervous or something. People in other cities and countries are responding a little more positive than the people of Louisville. Kevin Bacon thought I was funny in his contest I was a finalist in, so what now? I ask myself daily why God gave me all these ideas and creative talents? I know I am using my talents now, but not to their fullest extent. I feel at times that my talents are being taken advantage of, but I am sure many creative people feel that way at times.

I really am stunned in so many ways right now. I feel my confidence is crumbling. How do I get it back?

Yes I am.

I really thought things over today. I still continue to think. I am a star. I know it. I keep hitting bumps in the road and I am trying to figure out if the bumps are just bumps or road signs telling me to go back the other way. I am wondering if it's His way of challenging me...trying to see if I really want this all. I do. I think He is throwing things at me trying to see if I speak the truth when I say what I want. I asked ...didn't you see me the other day? I was on top of the world for a moment and it made that day so good.

I figured out the meaning of S.T.A.R. for me just now. Everyone has their own definition of what a star is. Some think it just means you are a famous person and some think it means you are really special. I think star for me means Super Talented American Redhead. I just came up with that. It just hit me in 10 seconds when I thought of what each letter of the word meant for me. Little moments have hit me lately...you know, the moments of feeling magical. I felt like the magic was gone the other day, then I realized it was just because I was being too busy with the ice/snow storm. The magic is still there. I pray that my shine doesn't wear off. I need to continue on...........

Pammie....oh Pammie. She's there, but some people don't want to see her right now. They are too concerned in their own things, worries, busy lives to believe in her. That makes me a little sad, but there are some of you out there who continue to remember her every day and help keep her going. Thanks to you lovely believers. :)

Oh...my HGTV episode of That's Clever finally aired on Feb 3rd! Yeah! Here's the links to see the two segments on YouTube:

Beaded Balls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx8s3Wczq_I
Shibori:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs2OSHxlc7s

Busy as a little bee!

Pammie is really, really a busy girl right now! But...she is getting more story ideas! Pammie just got her snow! It turned out to be a really bad snow and ice storm that hurt a lot of trees and people. Louisville, KY looks a little like a war zone right now. Oh...but when the sun came out and hit the icy trees, they looked like silver tinsel trees. They sparkled and it seemed as if they were all made out of Swarovski crystals. Beautiful.

Pammie is now officially alive. I painted her on a rainbarrel that will be given to Edge Outreach for their I Thirst for Art auction in March. She looks so pretty!

I am still working on a official home for her. Patience right?